I can't seem to be able to string my words together to convey the thoughts and struggles surging through my head. They remain stuck, cemented in between the what's to come, camouflaging the here and now. And while I'm here wrestling the words free, time forgets about me and leaves me behind. This body and the tiresome obsession with calories and weight is like being comatose. I'm so caught up in the numbers and the mirror that when I finally catch a breath and lift my head to the reality surrounding me, I'm unable to pick up where I left off.
It's incredible how quickly time slips through your fingers when you aren't looking.
I want to escape this city and move away to a place where nobody knows me. I want a fresh start, a do-over. But I can't do that until I reach perfection. I want to go back to college and finish my degree and finally have the balls to pursue my dream. But I won't do that until I find perfection. I want to find true love and know the feeling of a man's embrace and a passionate kiss. I want to KNOW love. But I can't until I am perfection.
Someday I will become the me I've always known I could be, and when that day comes I will be unstoppable. Until then I will remain stuck, afraid, unmoving, in this endless path towards absolute perfection in lovely hip bones, a flat empty stomach, and weightlessness.
i'm going to tell you from personal experience ,don't WAIT! i wanted to be dancer ever since i was little &even then thought i was 2 fat,now i c tht i shulda gne 4 it so im wrking on it now. don't wait hun . all those things can HELP u reach perfection
ReplyDeletestay beautiful xoxo
i agree with the person above me waiting is not a good idea.. its better to jump right into things and in my experience having all that stuff to keep you busy helps you lose weight, when you have no destination .. that is where you gain.x
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