Breaking Glass

Breaking Glass

8.21.2011

Cheers to the Freakin' Weekend


So everybody loves the weekends, right? Most of us have these days off and spend them hanging with our friends in the summer sun, pigging out at barbeque's, reaching our perfect summer glow at the beach, or clubbing until the wee hours of the morning, liquored up. But what if you are someone who avoids your friends to simply avoid the silent body image competition that resonates with all girls? What if you are afraid of food, and bikinis, and social settings? What then? It's 95 degrees out right now and I am sitting inside by myself utterly consumed with avoiding food and obsessing over thinspo and counting calories. My friends want me to float the river with them (swimming suit required), they wanted to go out to the bars last night (alcohol=loads of cals. and plenty of people better looking than me just waiting to set their judging eyes upon my imperfect body). I passed.

Want to know what I did for fun last night? I went to the market and then decided to go to the grocery store because I was in a foul mood and bought absolute shit food. And I came home and I binged and purged my piggy heart out. And afterwards I went on a 20 minute run. My head was pounding, I was shaky, and just wanted to bury myself 6 feet under. So I vowed to have a better day today. While I haven't gone out of the house, I have been eating healthy and low calorie and when I became really hungry this afternoon I cleaned the house for 3 hours!!! I mean I deep cleaned the hell out of it. So now I have a beautiful loft and the hunger is gone :) I am entirely avoiding the gym as of now because I don't have the back bone to face everybody. Sooooo I have set a goal weight and when I reach it, then I will march my fatass into the gym and say goodbye imperfect body, life, everything!!

2 comments:

  1. Sometimes life isolates us. Its good your keeping occupied. Keep posting and catching up on blogs. thats always fun :) Stay strong and reach perfection! <3

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  2. The self-isolation is the worst part of all this, I know. I actually had to TRAIN myself to get back out there. It's hard, it's always going to be hard. But you always have to push yourself. Socializing doesn't have to mean eating. And it helps to remind yourself that most people are average and won't judge your body. Just hold your head high, girl. But good job on keeping yourself occupied! Don't stop until you reach your goal!
    xo

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