.Beautiful.Broken.Pretty.

Beautiful. Broken. Pretty....

Well that's quite the interesting combo. It's really quite introspective if I think about it, so I'm not going to.

I managed to keep my intake relatively low today with only a quad shot americano with fat free creamer (120) -I only drank half of it. When I plugged it into My Fitness Pal it yelled at me, telling me that I wasn't consuming an appropraite amount of calories. What does it know? It's an app. It needs to shut up and mind it's own business. Tomorrow I am dragging my ass to the gym and busting it out! I don't know why I have the mentality that 2011 is over and I can't reach my goals. I'm just so stuck in my own dumb head, that I can't see that there is plenty of time!! I can still own this year and I intend on taking it by storm :)

So lately I've really been contemplating going about reaching my goal weight the healthy route. BUT I can't get Ana and the disordered habits out of my mind, and I already have my plate more than full so we shall see what happens. I really don't want to start adding the protein shakes into my days because, despite being healthy with no sugars in them, they are packed with calories. And everytime I have one, I feel like a failure, like I just went ten steps in the opposite direction of my goals. I might just alternate days and see what happens. I don't want to shake Ana, but I don't want to shake my muscle definition either, which btw I'm overly proud of. As far as most people are concerned, though, curves and definition might as well be FAT. So I have a feeling healthy won't be lasting long.