Shoot Me Dead

Ugh! Today could quite possibly have been the loooooooonnnggggeeeeesssstttt day ever! My allergies to nature and all it's freaking glory are making me groggy and very very very sneezy. I have had absolutely ZERO energy and no motivation. But I've been hella restricting and crunching the hell out of my stomach and so far everything is ok.

Here's what I ate:
-1/2 cup Fiber One original with 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla Almond Milk (85 cal)
-2 egg whites (30 cal)
-6 multigrain crackers (30 cal)
-20 oz. Americano with Soy and SF White Chocolate (75 cal)
-Campbells Savory Chicken Soup (160 cal)
-Ding Dong (180 cal) HORRIBLE! I know!!
                                    Total for the day: 560 calories

Overall not too bad. It would have been loads better if I didn't eat that damn ding dong. O well, tomorrow will be a better day. I've been steadily losing which is good but I get so discouraged because others can see it but I can NEVER see it. I don't understand it. It kind of makes me wonder that maybe my body image is so damaged and distorted that I will never be able to see the progress, even when it will be a sufficient amount of difference. Will I ever be happy with the way I look, even after I've hit my goal? I think that scares me the most.

Each week I'm setting mini-goals for myself so I don't get distracted and bored; those end goals can seem so far away and I get very impatient. And when we aren't noticing it, the time flies. So I'm keeping my ADHD brain occupied until I hit my final goal. Ok so I don't really have ADHD but my friends call me a spaz since I can never focus on one thing lol. Tomorrow morning I am going to drag my sorry ass to the damn gym and burn some cals. Mini goal #1 here I come!!