SUMMER in the 509

Ok so there are about 3 months until summer and I have been the biggest slacker EVER!! Arghhhh! No more! My weight has actually gone up since I've been so depressed (emotional eater here!) and I feel like such a failure. I am wasting my life sitting here like this, a fatass. I live 5 minutes from the gym and right across from a park and I have seldom used my friggin resources. So the snow and all the rain haven't been helping at all, I feel like a hibernating bear, but spring is on it's way and I REFUSE to spend my summer holed up in my apartment. This is 2011 and I am owning this year no matter what!! This year is my bitch. I am going to look damn good in a bikini this year and reach my goal weight. I have to stick to my 500 calorie or less diet and hit the gym at least 5 times a week for an hour. I got this! I'm so sick and tired of hating my body and feeling hopeless. For once in my life I want to look in the mirror and be happy with the girl staring back at me and know that I accomplished something amazing, for ME! Not for everybody else. I want to see my hip bones and a flat stomach; I want to hear people's whispering comments on how thin I've gotten rather than, "She needs to lose some weight." UGH! I just want to be perfect and thin and beautiful, how hard is that to ask for?! I am horribly hungry right now, so I found an ass load of thinspo and started another food journal. Just thought I'd reorganize it and make it more fun. Here's just a few for some motivation: